DEAR ABBY: My beautiful daughter has a great job, two lovely sons and a fiance who loves her. She seems to have it all. But since she’s been with him, she has gained weight. I would estimate that she now weighs around 250 pounds.

She has no energy, doesn’t walk at all, and sits in front of the TV when she’s not at work. She refuses to allow her picture to be taken; she always insists on being the one taking pictures.

I know she’s bothered about her weight. I know I am bothered because I’m afraid she won’t live 10 more years. Last weekend, we were at an outside self-service restaurant with a steep terrace. We wanted another drink. She asked me to get them because she would be too out of breath. I made two trips bringing things down to our table.

How can I say I think she needs to lose weight? Of course, she does, but will this ruin our relationship? I almost feel like she needs an intervention. We would be as worried if it were alcohol that was threatening her life. But it’s food. Her fiance is also overweight. I think he’s an enabler.

I’m stressed and depressed over this. They plan to be married next year, and I wonder how much they will weigh by then. Any advice? — PROTECTIVE MOM IN MISSOURI

DEAR MOM: Your concern is valid. Your daughter’s weight gain and sedentary lifestyle could lead to serious health problems if they aren’t addressed. That said, the intervention should come from your daughter’s doctor, if she has one, rather than from you.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.