DEAR ABBY: My wife and I are part of a three-couple group who enjoy dining out as well as entertaining in our homes. However, while my wife and I and one other couple serve as hosts, the third never invites us into their home. They often suggest a menu or an occasion for us or the other couple to serve when we host.

This has gone on for at least five years. Both wives (who do most of the work for whatever in-home event there is) don’t seem bothered by it, but it irks me. Is there a way to kindly suggest the third couple host without causing a problem? — FAIR IN SOUTH CAROLINA

DEAR FAIR: There can be several reasons why people behave as this couple does. They may not be confident in their cooking skills or the appearance of their home. However, they SHOULD attempt to make up for it in other ways such as offering to bring food or beverages, or by doing the cleanup after the dinners. I see nothing wrong with asking the couple the reason for their reluctance, as long as it is done privately.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.