DEAR ABBY: This morning, I found my husband has been chatting on his phone with a much younger woman. Since then, I have been wondering if I should ask him about it. He just retired, but I’m still working, and my job is in the afternoon and evening. He’s an extrovert who loves being around people. Should I be worried he’s cheating on me?

We’ve been married 30 years and have a grown child together. Our sex life isn’t good. For many years, we worked opposite shifts, so we didn’t go to bed and get up at the same time. Now we do, but he’s alone during the afternoon and evening. I don’t have any friends I trust enough to ask, and I’m certainly not saying anything to family. Can you help? — SUSPICIOUS IN NEW MEXICO

DEAR SUSPICIOUS: Because you know her age, I’m guessing you already know quite a bit about this much younger woman. If you ask your husband about this, you will have to disclose that you looked at his phone. Spouses don’t usually do that unless they are suspicious something might be going on.

If you think what he’s been doing could be a threat to your marriage, you are going to have to come clean and tell him you feel threatened by what you saw. Better to confront than to ignore and hope a problem will go away by itself.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.