DEAR ABBY: I live five hours away from my hometown. My mom is 98 and in assisted living there. In recent years, my younger sister has become cruel to our mom and is trying to take advantage of her.

Instead of helping Mom, she does things to deliberately upset her and raise her blood pressure. Two examples: putting dog poop on my recently deceased brother’s grave and stealing a gun from Mom’s home.

She also threatened to remove Mom’s recliner from her while she was sitting in it. My sister has caused major issues at the assisted living facility, which greatly upsets my poor mother, since she loves the care she gets there.

My older brother and I have met with an attorney to get an order of no-trespass, no-contact at Mom’s facility. It’s still in the process. My sister puts on a totally different mask at her church and has everyone believing she’s a victim. What do you suggest we do in the future with this out-of-control, full of hate sibling? — ASHAMED SIS IN ONTARIO, CANADA

DEAR SIS: The term for what your sister has been doing is elder abuse. Stealing and threatening to do something that would cause great bodily harm qualifies. Continue working with the attorney on the no-contact order and let the process play out.

Your mother’s doctors should be told what has been going on. What the worshippers in her church think about her should be of no consequence.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.