DEAR ABBY: I have been a widow for three years. There’s a guy I have known for the last eight years, and I have had a crush on for a couple of years. I’m not sure how to talk to him about my feelings and I don’t want to ruin our friendship. How can I talk to him and not ruin our friendship? — FEELING LOST

DEAR FEELING LOST: Do you socialize with this person? If you do, the next time you go out together, tell him how much you like him and how special he is to you. If he reacts positively, tell him you may have a crush on him.

THEN LISTEN. I wouldn’t call that being unduly forward, but if he runs for the hills, you’ll know your crush is not reciprocated. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.