DEAR ABBY: I was invited to a child’s birthday party that included the adults in the family, and was given specifics about what time to arrive, etc. I arrived on time. As I started to put out the food I had brought (after spending hours shopping and preparing it) the hostess told me in front of the guests that there was too much food and to put mine away. I complied because it was the mannerly thing to do.

The next day, her husband asked me whether it had made me feel “sour” in a way that suggested that had been the intent. What would you do to maintain dignity? I had absolutely no idea what to do. — CONFUSED AND HURT IN THE EAST

DEAR C&H: You handled the situation properly. Because of what the husband said, have a discussion with the hostess and ask what it was all about.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.