DEAR ABBY: We lost our daughter to gun violence, horribly, publicly and violently. We were the subject of news, speculation and gossip. It was several years ago, but people still ask for “details” and ask intrusive questions. It drives me up the wall and hurts my heart. I still struggle with how to respond to these people. What should I say? — DON’T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT

DEAR DON’T: Please accept my sympathy for your tragic loss. Consider responding this way: “I’m sure you mean well, but I do not want to discuss this with you, now or ever. Please don’t ask again.”

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.