DEAR ABBY: After years of disappointment, I finally found the man of my dreams. How do I tell him he isn’t doing certain things right in the bedroom without it being uncomfortable?

I have mentioned it before, but it didn’t stick. This is the only problem with our relationship. I don’t want to hurt his feelings or make either one of us uncomfortable, but he’s just not getting the job done. — WORKING ON IT IN TENNESSEE

DEAR WORKING: I will assume that the man of your dreams loves you and wants to take care of you. Although this may be a difficult topic to address, communication is very important.

Ask your doctor or gynecologist for a referral to a licensed sex therapist, then tell the man you love you would like him to accompany you. If he loves you, he will go and learn something. If his ego gets in the way, have the conversation about what you need at a time when you are both calm and relaxed, and communication is easier — NOT in the bedroom.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.