DEAR ABBY: For the last 20 years, we have owned a comfortable home a few blocks from the ocean. With both a main and a back house, we can sleep as many as 11 or 12 people. We have always welcomed our children, grandchildren and their friends unconditionally.

They, in turn, have been judicious about accepting our offer. Since we are now up in years, the work is becoming difficult for us.

Five years ago, one of our grandchildren married into a difficult family. While we are fond of our new grandson-in-law, he insists on bringing his parents, sibling and their family dog to our home. They are loud and ungracious. There is a difference of opinion among us as to whether we can or should refuse to continue welcoming them. Your thoughts? — TIRED IN THE EAST

DEAR TIRED: For a guest to bring other people (and their pet!) without first clearing it with the host is extremely rude. If the host shows reluctance, for the guest to insist is even worse.

I’m sorry you didn’t nip it in the bud in the beginning. Explain to your grandchild that you are not getting any younger and hosting the entire family has taken a toll on you, which is why you WILL be restricting the invitation to only your family members in the future.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.