DEAR ABBY: Last weekend, my son was married in a small church in Northern California, a perfect venue for a small wedding. The bride and groom come from large families, and in order to keep the cost down, they decided that children under 21 would be omitted from the guest list. (Example: My husband had only one friend invited to the wedding — my son’s godfather.)

My brother and his wife, who have three children under 21, were extremely offended that their children were not invited to accompany them. They missed the couple’s shower, didn’t show up to the wedding and offered no explanation. The morning of the rehearsal dinner, we learned the reason for their absence from my sister and her husband. Apparently, their children were extremely upset. We have tried to speak with them about the situation, with no response. Any suggestions? — WEDDING BELL BLUES

DEAR BLUES: If your brother and his wife accepted the shower and wedding invitations and didn’t bother to show up, they were extremely rude. You did nothing wrong, and you don’t owe them an “explanation” for the fact that your son and his bride omitted their children from the guest list. Go on with your life, refuse to be intimidated and be happy for your son.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.