DEAR ABBY: After 37 years of marriage, all of a sudden, my husband has a problem with how I speak. He says it’s my “tone.” I can no longer discuss anything with him because it always ends up in an argument, not about the actual words I say, but how I say them. He can’t seem to help himself. He constantly criticizes something about whatever I say. He has taken my voice away, and I feel invisible. He talks to me, but I’m supposed to only listen. If I ask a question or make a comment, he gets mad because I’m “interrupting him.” I can no longer add to or participate in the conversation. After all these years, I can’t communicate. It’s like he hates the sound of my voice. Please tell me what to do. — SILENCED IN TEXAS

DEAR SILENCED: As a matter of fact, I do have a suggestion (or two). The first is that BOTH you and your husband should have your hearing checked. You may be speaking more loudly than you used to, or your husband may have developed some kind of sensitivity to sounds in your vocal range. Second, if your hearing and his are within normal ranges, and everything checks out during your next physical exam, ask your doctor for a referral to a licensed marriage and family therapist. The behavior you are describing seems to be controlling and disrespectful, and a therapist may be able to guide you before you lose your mind.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.