DEAR ABBY: A friendship of 40 years has fallen apart because he refuses to stand up for himself to his wife. She has dominated him throughout their many decades of marriage.

Like any narcissist, she managed to isolate him from his family and move him to remote places where he knew no one. Now she is terminally ill and refusing to allow him to move where his family could help him care for her.

His family and I feel the same. Like any narcissist, she has also turned him against me. Along the way, they have made terrible and troubling financial decisions. It is too painful to watch, so I’ve withdrawn from the friendship rather than support these bad decisions. Was that the right thing to do? — FORMER FRIEND IN IOWA

DEAR FORMER FRIEND: Yes, it was the right thing to do. Because your friend’s wife still controls who may be in contact with her husband, even in her weakened condition, you had little choice but to step back.

Once she passes, offer support to him. He is going to need it.

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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.