Michelle Obama is throwing more cold water on rumors of marital strife with the ex-commander in chief.
The former first lady said if her 32-year marriage with former President Barack Obama was in trouble, it wouldn’t be some big secret.
“If I were having problems with my husband, everybody would know about it,” she said during an appearance on “The Diary of a CEO” podcast released Thursday.
Host Steven Bartlett noted that the “Becoming” author’s absence at Trump’s inauguration in January fueled scuttlebutt over possible discord in the couple’s union.
She laughed off the idea that not appearing at the event meant “there’s an issue with you and Barack, there’s a divorce coming.”
“Let me tell you,” she said after pointing to her brother, Craig Robinson, “he would know it. And everybody would know it.”
The siblings are currently promoting their recently-launched “IMO” podcast.
“I’m not a martyr,” the 61-year-old mother of two continued. “I would be problem-solving in public, like, ‘Let me tell you what he did,’” she joked of her spouse.
“My decision to skip the inauguration — or my decision to make choices at the beginning of this year that suited me — were met with such ridicule and criticism,” she said. “People couldn’t believe that I was saying no for any other reason, that they had to assume that my marriage was falling apart.”
Weeks earlier, she appeared on Sophia Bush’s “Work in Progress” podcast and shared a similar sentiment after underscoring that her post-White House life is decided by what she wants to do.
“People couldn’t even fathom I was making a choice for myself,” Michelle said.
“They had to assume that my husband and I are divorcing, that this couldn’t be a grown woman just making a set of decisions for herself. … If it doesn’t fit into the stereotype of what people think we should do, then it gets labeled as something negative.”
Six Flags has hung a For Sale sign out in front of two parks in the Washington, D.C. area and is looking to sell more of the 42 locations in the North American amusement park chain following an $8 billion merger with rival Cedar Fair.
Six Flags announced on Thursday, May 1 that the Six Flags America amusement park and Hurricane Harbor water park in Maryland will close after the 2025 season.
The two parks sitting on 500 acres in Bowie, Maryland, will be sold and marketed for redevelopment as part of Six Flags’ ongoing portfolio review.
“We have determined that Six Flags America and Hurricane Harbor are not a strategic fit with the company’s long-term growth plan,” Six Flags CEO Richard Zimmerman said in a statement.
“We anticipate strong interest in the property and will continue to strategically pursue portfolio optimization opportunities as we work to unlock the full value of our portfolio.”
Six Flags America opened for the season on April 12 and will permanently close on Nov. 2 after the Halloween season.
Six Flags announced that some smaller parks in the chain were up for sale during the company’s quarterly earnings call in February after completing a comprehensive portfolio review following the merger of Six Flags and Cedar Fair in July.
Six Flags plans to share more details about its long-term strategy at an upcoming investor day on May 20 at Ohio’s Cedar Point theme park.
Six Flags America seemed like a likely contender to be sold after the Cedar Fair-Six Flags merger. The Maryland amusement park and Virginia’s Kings Dominion both compete for visitors in the Washington, D.C. metropolitan area.
Six Flags has two other markets with competing parks — Southern California and the San Francisco Bay Area.
Knott’s Berry Farm and Six Flags Magic Mountain are among the chain’s two biggest attendance draws and aren’t likely to be sold anytime soon.
The San Francisco rivalry will soon sort itself out with California’s Great America set to close in the next few years — leaving only Six Flags Discovery Kingdom in the Bay Area.
Which parks might be up for sale or in play? And which ones are untouchable or safe for now?
Let’s take a look at all the possibilities.
Untouchable Parks
The chain’s eight largest parks based on attendance include Buena Park’s Knott’s Berry Farm (4.2 million annual visitors), Ohio’s Cedar Point (4 million), Ohio’s Kings Island (3.5 million), Valencia’s Six Flags Magic Mountain (3.4 million), Canada’s Wonderland (3.2 million), Illinois’ Six Flags Great America (3 million), New Jersey’s Six Flags Great Adventure (2.5 million) and Six Flags Mexico (2 million), according to the TEA/AECOM report.
Those locations seem like core properties in the new Six Flags and appear to be untouchable at the moment.
Safe For Now
Four more of the chain’s parks are located close to major metropolitan areas: Philadelphia (Dorney Park), Dallas/Fort Worth (Six Flags Over Texas), Atlanta (Six Flags Over Georgia) and Boston (Six Flags New England).
Without any major local competition, those locations seem safe for now.
On the Bubble
Four parks in the chain sit on the bubble in mid-sized metropolitan areas: Carowinds (Charlotte, North Carolina), Six Flags Fiesta Texas (San Antonio, Texas), La Ronde (Montreal) and Six Flags St. Louis (Missouri).
Carowinds is likely safe since Six Flags corporate headquarters is now located in Charlotte.
The other three parks could be on the market if Six Flags finds the right bidder.
Potentially For Sale
That leaves the six smallest parks in the chain — Frontier City (Oklahoma City), Six Flags Darien Lake (Buffalo, New York), Valleyfair (Minneapolis, Minnesota), Worlds of Fun (Kansas City, Missouri), Six Flags Great Escape (Albany, New York) and Michigan’s Adventure (Grand Rapids).
Michigan’s Adventure could argue that it’s near Detroit and Chicago, but likely couldn’t compete with the bigger Cedar Point or Six Flags Great America.
The dueling Six Flags parks in upstate New York have coexisted for years — but are both among the smallest in the chain. Six Flags doesn’t own Darien Lake and only serves as the lease operator, which likely means costs are lower there.
Water Parks
The water parks in the newly combined chain all draw fewer than 1 million visitors a year.
Most of the water parks are connected to amusement parks in the chain, but not all of them.
The two Sclitterlitterbahn water parks in Texas rank first and third in attendance among Six Flags water parks, according to the TEA/AECOM report. Knott’s Soak City sits in between the Sclitterlitterbahn parks.
The other top water parks in terms of attendance are tied to Six Flags Over Texas, Six Flags Great Adventure, Six Flags Magic Mountain, Six Flags Over Georgia and Cedar Point.
The stand-alone Six Flags Phoenix water park also makes the TEA/AECOM Top 20 North American water parks list.
Four stand-alone water parks in the chain — in California, Texas, Georgia and Mexico — aren’t directly tied to amusement parks and could be among the smallest locations in the Six Flags chain.
Film fans in Alabama have been waiting to see “Neighborhood Watch,” a crime thriller starring Jack Quaid and Jeffrey Dean Morgan.
The movie, previously called “Nowhere Men,” was filmed at several locations in Birmingham in fall 2023. People in the Crestwood neighborhood, for example, were buzzing when trucks and crew members settled in for several days that November, shooting scenes at a bungalow on Eighth Terrace South.
Now, about 18 months later, “Neighborhood Watch” has been released on streaming services and in select theaters. Birmingham’s Sidewalk Cinema held a screening of the movie on April 25, in tandem with the release date, but it’s unclear if “Neighborhood Watch” will show up in other cinemas in the state.
If you want to see “Neighborhood Watch,” the best bet is a streaming service such as Amazon’s Prime Video, Apple TV+ and the like. Meantime, some Birmingham streets and landmarks can be seen in the trailer for the movie. (Watch it in the video below.)
Here’s the storyline for “Neighborhood Watch,” as posted on IMDb:
“When a mentally ill young man thinks he witnesses an abduction and the police refuse to believe him, he reluctantly turns to his next door neighbor — a bitter, retired security guard — to help him find the missing woman.”
Quaid, 33, best known for his starring role on Amazon’s superhero series “The Boys,” plays the young man who spots the crime. Morgan, who earned fame on AMC’s “Walking Dead” franchise, portrays the irascible security guard.
Both stars were spotted by fans during the filming, although the production kept a fairly low profile during its time in Birmingham. Cast members also included Malin Akerman of “Watchmen” and several background actors from Alabama.
The director of “Neighborhood Watch” is Duncan Skiles, best known for 2018’s “The Clovehitch Killer.” Sean Farley wrote the screenplay.
“Our little movie is out in select theaters and VOD!,” Quaid said on April 25 via an Instagram post. “We shot NEIGHBORHOOD WATCH (then called Nowhere Men) in less than 3 weeks in Birmingham AL. This was indie filmmaking at its core. We had to shoot fast & scrappy. Thank god we were blessed with an incredible, talented crew who made it all work. Which of course includes our genius director Duncan Skiles. I’ve been a fan of his since The Clovehitch Killer (which I discovered via RLM) so it was such a honor to work with him. He has such a unique voice and I can’t wait to see what he does next. Jeffrey Dean Morgan is a national treasure. We knew each other a bit beforehand, but we quickly became brothers over the course of the shoot. I love stories about unlikely friendships and getting to take that journey with Jeff was one of the great joys of my career. Not to mention Malin Akerman is one of the nicest, most talented people I’ve ever met. So getting to play her brother was such a joy. This is the Rampage reunion the people have been clamoring for! Anyway I’m immensely proud of this thing, give it a watch if you feel so inclined. It’s the little movie that could. It’s got a lot of heart and … of course, at some point I get splattered with blood.”
Reviews of the movie have been mixed thus far, with Variety praising it as a “deft, character-based seriocomedy” and The Daily Beast panning the film as “too quirky for its own good.”
“Neighborhood Watch” currently has a score of 63% on Rotten Tomatoes, a movie site that aggregates reviews from critics and comes up with a percentage rating based on how “fresh” a film is considered to be. As of May 1, 24 reviews were listed on the site: 15 gave it a thumbs-up as “fresh” and nine opted for “rotten.”
“One is hard-pressed to understand why grown-up thrillers like this one don’t get bigger pushes, but if you’re a ‘they don’t make ‘em like they used to’ type when it comes to genre, do have a look at this,” Glenn Kenny said in his review for RogerEbert.com. “It’ll very likely hit an old-school sweet (or sour) spot or two.”
It’s Friday, which means the first order of business is the Alabama News Quiz. It’s easy, it’s multiple-choice, it’s only five question, and you can take it right here:
Now for the report. Listen to it on the podcast here (more from the newsletter below):
The prez and the coach
President Trump delivered a nearly hourlong address to University of Alabama students Thursday evening at a pre-commencement event. He stressed to the graduating students that they can be successful while they’re still young and that “If you want to change the world you have to be okay with being on the outside.”
That and other points of encouragement were mixed in with standard Trump rally points such as his claim that the 2020 election was rigged, the poor performance of the Biden administration and the prosperity he says import tariffs are going to bring.
Former Alabama football coach Nick Saban introduced the president. Saban spent a few minutes applying “the process” to the Class of ’25, telling them that self-discipline and good decisions will put them in position to succeed. On speaking before POTUS came onstage, the coach said he felt like he was the opening act for the Rolling Stones.
Hospital … opening?
We keep hearing and reading about hospitals in rural areas having to cut or shut down operations. And it’s a real problem that hasn’t shown many signs of getting better. Medical services are geographically scattered in many places, adding minutes to the time it takes to receive emergency service.
However, reports AL.com’s Savannah Tryens-Fernandes, one recent closure appears to be reversing itself: Thomasville Regional Medical Center has been sold and may soon reopen.
A judge in Clark County approved the sale.
The Thomasville facility closed last fall after it defaulted on about $40 million in loans. Prestige Thomasville LLC, an company formed by Baldwin County telecommunications company JMF Solutions, acquired the hospital, according to Thomasville Mayor Sheldon Day.
Part of the proceeds of the sale will go toward paying down the debt.
In the spring of 1963, Birmingham, Alabama was a city gripped by fear. Many doubted that Reverend Fred Shuttlesworth’s and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.’s “Birmingham Campaign” against segregation could succeed. Dr. King sat in jail, branded an “outside agitator,” answering critics through his now-famous “Letter from a Birmingham Jail.”
The risks were enormous. Jobs, homes, and lives were on the line. The people feared what the government was doing — and might do. As adult participation dwindled, movement leaders were forced to confront a difficult truth: Only our children can save us.
Sixty-two years ago this week, Birmingham’s children answered the call. Between May 2–10, 1963, thousands of Black youth, some as young as seven, walked out of school and marched into history. They were ravaged with institutional violence led by Birmingham Public Safety Commissioner Eugene “Bull” Connor. Facing fire hoses, police dogs, and jail, they defied fear with discipline and reshaped America’s future.
In May 1961 young people had similarly launched the first Freedom Rides across the South. The young Freedom Riders were brutalized by a blurred mix of police and mob violence. This same generation of youth would protest and ultimately end the war in Viet Nam.
Three decades later, between April 29 and May 3, 1992, mostly young people took to the streets across the country in response to the injustice of a not guilty verdict of the Los Angeles police officers caught on videotape savagely beating motorist Rodney King.
In May 2020, young people across the country returned to the streets in protest of the horrific public execution of George Floyd in the longest sustained public protest in American history. They reminded America that where there is no justice, there can be no peace.
Today, in 2025, we again face a defining moment. Vital civil rights protections are under assault. Injustice can seemingly be found anywhere and everywhere. Essential services for children, facilities and communities are being stripped away under the banner of reducing “bureaucracy” and rebuking DEI.
Funding for public schools K-12 committed to authentically teaching the history of the Civil Rights Movement is being threatened. Targeted children — U.S. citizens, college students and undocumented immigrants alike — are being detained and deported. $2.5 million in Alabama funding was cut last week from Americorps, the federal government’s leading community service and volunteerism program for both children and adults. Once again, many fear what their government is doing — and what it may yet do.
Earlier this month, the Alabama African American Civil Rights Heritage Sites Consortium, along with nonprofits across the country, were hit with devastating news: the federal Institute of Museum and Library Services (IMLS) was “DOGED.” All IMLS agency staff were placed on administrative leave, all existing grant programs were terminated and the newly appointed Acting Director outrageously declared that supporting civil rights archives and youth education projects “no longer serves the interests of the United States.”
Among the casualties: the Consortium’s digital archive of oral histories and youth-led mobile exhibits on the Civil Rights and Voting Rights Acts — initiatives directly rooted in preserving the spirit of youth activism.
The financial damage extends further. Historic churches like and Old Sardis Baptist in Birmingham, Brown Chapel AME in Selma, and Old Ship AME Zion in Montgomery — central to the Civil Rights Movement — are fighting for survival. Already struggling with massive restoration costs, they face skyrocketing expenses worsened by tariffs on building materials.
Without federal support, the very structures that birthed and should inspire the continuation of America’s freedom struggles are more endangered than ever. History does not preserve itself. It demands stewards. The “crusades” of young people from one generation to the next should remind, inspire and guide.
At their best, children are not just the promise of tomorrow; they are the power of today. Young people have confronted institutional violence, ended wars and transformed the conversation. In 1963, young people did not wait for permission to make history. They understood that their moment demanded courage — now.
So must we.
We need our children — now.
Rev. Lukata Mjumbe is Executive Director of the Alabama African American Civil Rights Heritage Sites Consortium.
How would you like to receive news on April 1 that you had been diagnosed with cancer?
That’s exactly what happened to longtime Berry High softball coach Darrell Thomas.
“I wish it had been an April Fool’s joke, but it wasn’t,” Thomas said this week. “But God is good, and everything is going to be fine. I’ve got a lot of people supporting me. A lot of people have it worse than I have it. We are going to fight, and we are going to be OK.”
The fight is underway for Thomas even as he leads his team into the regional softball tournament in Florence for the third straight year next week. The official diagnosis was Mantle Cell Lymphoma, a rare, aggressive form of non-Hodgkin lymphoma that typically affects older adults, primarily men.
Berry softball coach Darrell Thomas is pictured with his family: son-in-law Nolan Trice, daughter Taylor Thomas Trice, granddaughter Oakley Trice, wife Natalie, son Jonathan and daughter-in-law Allyson. (Contributed)Contributed
Thomas endured his first rounds of chemotherapy last week.
“I’m feeling stronger than ever,” he told me. “I go back every 28 days to do another round for the next six months.”
Thomas needed all his strength earlier this week.
He was in the dugout as his Berry team played 34 total innings in four games on Tuesday to win the Class 1A, Area 10 tournament. The Wildcats (21-15) will play Athens Bible at 9 a.m. Wednesday in the North Regional.
“I had a shot Monday to boost my white blood cells,” he said. “I think it also boosted my adrenaline. Tuesday was a really strong day for me. I felt normal. We got to the park at noon for our first game at 1. We left at 10:47 p.m. my wife said. I have such good people around me. The parents were bringing me food and Gatorade in the dugout. The Berry community is just special. I didn’t grow up here, but they have accepted me with open arms since I arrived. The amount of support we’ve had has been off the charts.”
Thomas has been the Berry softball coach since 2009. He has been the principal at Berry Elementary – right across the street from the high school – since 2016 after spending a decade as the assistant principal.
His cancer fight started in March as softball season was starting to heat up.
“I had some rapid weight loss,” he said. “I lost over 30 pounds and had a nagging cough that wouldn’t go away. There was a lot of fatigue. I didn’t have any energy, especially after lunch. I had to muster up energy to do things that really aren’t that taxing physically. It’s not like I was working construction. I’m a principal.”
On March 14, on the strong advice of his wife Natalie, Thomas went to the emergency room.
“They noticed my blood levels had dropped since my checkup in December,” he said. “We went on vacation and came back, and they had dropped even further.”
The official diagnosis came a few weeks later.
Since then, Thomas has mostly stepped away from his role as principal while still coaching the softball team. He said the assistant principal, teachers, secretary and custodians have handled the workload at the elementary school in his absence.
“I’ve been communicating from home with my assistant principal and counselor,” he said. “I will stop by every now and then to do some paperwork. With this disease, your energy level is to the point where you can’t do too much more than an hour or two of work without getting tired. Doctors also were concerned about me being around a large number of people all day or even for a half day.”
While Thomas has continued to coach his team, his assistants (Rodney Naramore, Hannah Herren Howton) have handled most practices for him. He has coached the games from the dugout.
“I put a lot of sunscreen on my face,” he said of Tuesday’s marathon area tournament. “I call pitches from the dugout. I wear long sleeves and long pants and a bucket hat. Because of the chemo, they said I could burn easier.”
Berry football coach Danny Raines said Thomas’ strength through the fight has been inspiring.
“I’ve witnessed him with little to no energy, even struggling to walk,” he wrote in an email. “But he goes and coaches these girls.”
Thomas’ team has worn lime green jerseys, the color used to raise awareness and support for lymphoma patients. Thomas continues to be strengthened by his faith and supported by his wife, children, team and the community.
“We’re Christians, and we know God already knows how this is going to play out,” he said. “We believe He already has opened doors with the doctors and nurses we’ve had along the way.”
The future is promising.
Thomas said doctors have told him his cancer is treatable and, in most cases, curable with a low relapse rate. If the cancer is gone after his six months of chemotherapy, he will be on a 3–5-year maintenance plan.
Thomas started coaching softball in West Virginia in 1992.
He said he loves the competition. When his two daughters were old enough to play, he made a decision to set an example of how girls and all student athletes should be treated and how to run a program with class. He’s done that admirably.
Through his current fight, Thomas has taught us all about courage and faith.
I don’t know how Berry will fare in the regional next week, but there is no doubt the Wildcats will not stop fighting.
They learned that from their coach.
Thought for the Week
“When all I see is the battle, You see my victory.
When all I see is the mountain, You see a mountain moved.
And as I walk through the shadow, Your love surrounds me.
There’s nothing to fear now for I am safe with You.”
— Battle Belongs, Phil Wickham
Ben Thomas is the high school managing producer at AL.com. He has been named one of the 50 legends of the Alabama Sports Writers Association. Follow him on twitter at @BenThomasPreps or email him at bthomas@al.com.
Auburn football’s season begins a few Fridays from now, 18 for those counting at home.
The Tigers kick off the 2025 season under Friday night lights in Waco, Texas in a game moved up a day to August 29, from its original Aug. 30 date.
This will be the fifth matchup between both programs and the first time since 1976, and Auburn’s first trip to Waco, TX since 1975.
Here’s an early look at what you can expect from Baylor this fall:
2024 season review
Baylor finished last season with an 8-5 record after falling to LSU 44-31 in the Texas Bowl. In the Big 12, the Bears finished fifth with a 6-3 record.
Quarterback Sawyer Robertson took over third game of the year after preseason starter Dequan Finn was ruled out for the season. The redshirt junior threw for 3,071 yards with 28 touchdowns, completing 62.2% of passes. He added 230 yards and four touchdowns on the ground.
Junior Josh Cameron led Baylor in receptions (52), receiving yards (754) and touchdowns (10) in 2024. Both Sawyer and Cameron will headline the Bears offense this upcoming season.
On defense, Baylor lost linebackers Matt Jones and Treven Ma’ae to the 2025 NFL draft. However, leading tackler Keaton Thomas returns for his junior season after finishing with 106 total tackles last year.
Hello, old friend
Baylor’s recruiting class ranked 40th in the country headlined by four-star recruits Kamauryn Morgan and Mathew Parker.
In the transfer portal, the Bears snagged 14 players including a former Auburn quarterback. Walker White committed to Baylor after spending a season with the Tigers. He played just one game in 2024, appearing briefly against Louisiana-Monroe.
White was a four-star recruit in Auburn’s 2024 signing class. He was ranked as the fifth-best QB and 41st-best overall prospect in the 2024 recruiting cycle.
Entering fall camp in a position battle with Robertson, White gets a fresh start and a shot at redemption against his former team to start the season.
Jerry Humphrey III covers Auburn sports for AL.com. You can follow him on X at @Jerryhump3 or email him at JHumphreyIII@al.com.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband and I frequently entertain a small group of friends for light appetizers and dinner. One friend usually arrives with a tobacco pouch in his mouth and places it on his dinner plate while he dines.
He will insert another pouch after dinner but before dessert. When I clear the table, I find the pouches on his dinner plate as well as his dessert plate. I have even found one of these foul things on a linen cocktail napkin in my living room. I place the pouches in the trash, where they tend to provide a foul odor to our kitchen until the can is emptied.
Is there a way to let our friend know that I’d rather he take his used tobacco pouches home with him rather than have them foul our table and trash can?
GENTLE READER: He has given you a present. Now it is your turn: Next time he is at your house, give him his very own used tobacco holder.
Mind you, Miss Manners has no idea if such a thing exists, but imagines something the size of a mint tin with a lid on it, or a snack-sized baggie. If you are crafty, you could even decorate it to make it more presentable. At least the first time.
At subsequent gatherings, or when he inevitably forgets the original, keep extras on hand that are less decorative and more readily disposable. Or tell him that your house is not only a nonsmoking area, but a tobacco-free one.
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at missmanners.com, by email to dearmissmanners@gmail.com, or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Dear Eric: I am married to my second wife. We are older. My only son, and his wife live close by, with their two daughters.
Recently, we bought tickets to an event for the four of us adults to attend. When we gave the tickets to my son and his wife, months ago, they seemed very excited and said they would find a way to get time off from work, find babysitters and attend this event with us. We bought the hotel rooms that would be needed, as well.
My son informed me recently that something has come up, work related, that he cannot get out of. I am sure this is true.
The problem is this keeps happening. We make plans, they are all in and then something comes up and they have to cancel. They often ask us to babysit since the granddaughters are too young to stay at home alone. We drop everything and are happy to babysit. We love those little girls.
We feel used and not appreciated. It feels like a one-way street. My wife loves my son and his family as if they were her own. But she feels like all of the canceled plans are because of her, that they don’t like being around her as much as she likes being around them. We want to quit giving gifts and quit making plans. Not to be vengeful, we just have been burned so many times now.
Is it wrong to request some time with the adults? Are we being too sensitive about canceled plans? The most recent episode has ruined my wife’s whole weekend. How can we work through this?
– Canceled, Again
Dear Canceled: It feels like a one-way street because it is and that street leads directly to the raising of your granddaughters, which is what your son and his wife are rightfully focusing on. A lot of these issues can be chalked up to the difficulty of balancing parenthood with career and life. For many people, especially those with young kids, adult social engagements get the short end of the stick. Please, try not to take it personally.
I’m concerned about the leap to the assumption that they’re avoiding your wife. Why would that be? Isn’t it easier to believe that they simply have a lot going on in life right now?
You and your wife have more capacity for social plans and, presumably, fewer last-minute changes. I know that you’re trying to make it easy for them to say yes to things, from purchasing tickets to arranging hotels, but see if you can lower the bar even more.
What are the plans or gifts that would actually make things easier for your son and daughter-in-law in this phase of life? Maybe getting off of work and finding a babysitter in order to spend time with you feels like another in the long list of responsibilities right now, instead of an escape. I hope you’ll extend some more empathy to them. Requesting more adult time is fine, but you have to also listen to what they’re requesting of you, too.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.
Dear Eric: I have been married nearly 35 years. We and my husband’s family all live a few blocks from each other.
My husband’s father passed away a year ago. My husband coordinated a family outing to the beach for Father’s Day. We found out that his brother hosted his mother and sister for a barbecue down the block after the gathering. We were not invited. His mother said we were invited but we said we hadn’t been because no one texted.
We previously hosted Mother’s Day and a get together for his brother’s birthday. What should I do other than shake my head at the blatant disrespect?
– Left Out
Dear Left Out: Well, it depends on what’s really going on here. Is this slight part of an on-going pattern that has slowly worn you down over the last 35 years? Or is this something new, perhaps related to the relationship between your husband and his brother?
Or is it possible that the brother and mother simply assumed that you and your husband would come over?
Without more to go on, I have to switch to more general advice for being left out of invitations, particularly with family: assume the best and communicate the truth as you see it. You felt disrespected and your feelings are valid, but they’re not going to go away without working through them. Part of that work can be telling your brother-in-law that you would’ve liked to join the barbecue and asking that he text you directly next time. The second part is crucial – you wouldn’t be simply pointing out a problem in the past, you’d be making a suggestion for a more communicative future.
Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.