Casagrande: A Christmas poem for you, a crazy year in review

A new tradition and my Christmas gift to you, a poem I wrote for a year in review.

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Ring, ring, ring-a-ling.

We’ve got some rhymes to sling.

The prose can wait.

All fun, no hate.

Let’s try our first Christmas poem.

And remember some words are hard to rhyme so I will try my best and I appreciate your understanding.

You might know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen.

Wommack, don’t be stupid … Nick Saban would be blitzen!

The G.O.A.T retired; the year’s biggest story.

And now he’s on to the cable TV glory.

But he can’t beat Miss Terry against the spread.

Six months in the media must have shrunk his head.

So Alabama moved on, hired Kalen DeBoer.

Watch a news conference, he’ll make you snore.

The rants are over; gone is the scorn.

Along with the dump in that rusted tin horn.

The new guy smiles and wears a T-shirt.

Ouch, that trip to Vanderbilt really hurt.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year

With the transfer portal a-humming.

Five-stars going and coming.

Auburn got a quarterback, there’s nothing to fear!

Except Diego Pavia. The Hugh Freeze nightmare could return.

Three games. Three losses. A fourth would really AuBURN.

Sorry.

Santa flies a sleigh, Freeze drives a bus.

Over his quarterback, no time to fuss.

Except to the side judge near the Tiger sideline.

Another loss to Missouri and he won’t be so fine.

But he’s a recruiting legend, just signed another top-10 class!

Yet it’s time to win. The Iron Bowl newbie just kicked your … bottom.

Now this foggy Christmas Eve, it’s basketball season in a basketball state.

The fat guy with a red face is coming with something to say.

Alabama now has a Final Four banner.

Auburn would too, but Yale can play.

We’re now much more than a football state in 2024.

With bright futures to come, we’re ready for more.

Greg Byrne wants your money. Into your savings you dip.

Players need your cash or they’re going to the Sip.

The SEC Championship again they’ll be missin’.

I just needed something to rhyme with Kiffin.

He blows the big one, but the tailgate they’ll win.

Troll you on Twitter, a sad clown and his spin.

Horseplay on an airplane.

Readers are gonna complain.

A Christmas poem off the rails.

Here come the emails.

But it’s all in love.

I come in peace. Release the dove.

Santa’s on the rooftop. The elves smoking a cig.

This year’s almost over and the stories were big.

Nick Saban’s small but his shadow is huge.

Mrs. Claus hitting the egg nog luge.

So Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

I hope you liked my poem, it was really hard finding some words to rhyme but I tried my best and that’s what matters most!

Michael Casagrande is a reporter and awful poet for the Alabama Media Group. Follow him on Twitter @ByCasagrande or on Facebook.