This is an opinion column

As I secured the stand beneath the Christmas tree, its bolts resisting my every turn, I realized perspective is everything. The sticky tree sap clinging to my beard was a minor annoyance, but my vantage point did offer a clear view of the forgotten dog barf behind the living room chair. Bing Crosby’s crooning was lost in the cacophony of coughing spells courtesy of the latest viral visitor gracing our home. It might not seem like the ideal setting for contemplating holiday gifts, but the chaos was oddly clarifying.

“It’s all a bit much, isn’t it?” my wife sighed, a smile playing on her lips. And she’s right. It always is. But as I surveyed the scene in our living room, a sense of calm washed over me. What does it take to help families like ours navigate the constant feeling of being overwhelmed? I have yet to discover a foolproof method to operate a family, expertly raise children, and clean up the ensuing mess.

Relationships are complex, fraught with miscommunication and misunderstanding. Parenting is a relentless juggling act of love, discipline, and sheer exhaustion. Work is a rollercoaster of highs and lows, moments of exhilarating success followed by seemingly insurmountable challenges.

Pining for the time when life will get easier makes us miss the beauty unfolding before us.

And there it was, plain as day. My wife rolled her eyes and laughed at our struggles with the tree. One son wrestled with the dogs. Two others cackled over the latest fart joke. The last one was raiding the pantry while everyone was distracted. This is life, these shared moments of laughter, connection, and the simple act of being present.

This year, my Christmas gift is unmitigated kindness. I will offer it freely, without reservation, regardless of whether someone “deserves” it or not. A kind smile to the cashier, a helping hand to a neighbor, a coffee for someone simply because. I will worry less about reducing my own chaos and offering kindness to others instead.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d still like to improve on a number of fronts. Mastering the art of tree stand assembly remains a mystery, and the code to raising well-adjusted humans is still being cracked. I still get frustrated, impatient, and make mistakes along the way.

But I’m learning that an ordered life that’s well manicured is not synonymous with a life well lived. Joy exists in the unexpected, beauty resides within the sound and fury, and love is found in putting our own priorities aside for another.

Kindness creates the space and time for others to see those wonders in their own lives. Take turns with the crying baby, let someone merge in traffic, treat a friend to lunch. These everyday acts restore the humanity lost during diaper blowouts and particularly rough days at the office.

The dog barf will eventually get cleaned up, the virus will run its course, and the Christmas tree may or may not survive the season upright. I’m okay with that.

This holiday season, consider joining me. Choose kindness. Unmitigated, unconditional, boundless. Give it as generously as you would your grandma’s prized Beanie Baby collection. We never know what silent battles others are fighting. By embracing the chaos of our own lives and offering a hand to those around us, we help each other see the beautiful wonder of the life we already have.

More Cameron Smith columns:

Smith is a recovering political attorney with four boys, two dogs, a bearded dragon, and an extremely patient wife. He’s a partner in a media company, a business strategy wonk, and a regular on talk radio. Please direct outrage or agreement to [email protected] or @DCameronSmith on X or @davidcameronsmith on Threads.