Beth Thames: Don’t be the one who declares everything was better in the old days.
This is an opinion column
We all hope to live long lives, at least as long as we’re healthy. But in Alabama, the life expectancy is only 75.2 years, according to U.S. News and World Report. This puts us among the ten states with the shortest lifespans. We rank about 48th, along with other states who don’t have easy access to health care and live close to the poverty line, asking ourselves what we can afford to buy: groceries, gas, or blood pressure meds?
Of course, some people shorten their lives or someone else’s by smoking, excessive drinking, careless driving, or picking up a gun that’s not loaded, except it is.
But there are other places where people live long and productive lives. Sweden is one of them. And one of its citizens, the writer Margareta Magnusson, tells readers how to age exuberantly, as she puts it. “The Swedish Art of Aging Exuberantly—Life Wisdom from Someone Who Will Probably Die Before You,” is her second book, the first being “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning.” In spite of its grim title, it’s a practical, instructive book about cleaning out your drawers, closets, and garage space while you’re living so that your children don’t have to do it when you aren’t.
Magnusson gives her age as “somewhere between 80 and 100.” One book reviewer said she was “about 91.” Whatever her age, her life wisdom fits all ages. In fact, I’m buying several copies for Christmas gifts for people in my age category so we can live exuberantly in the time we have left.
She’s lived all over, and she writes about providing a home for her husband and five children in Annapolis, Singapore, and her native Sweden. In each place she’s lived, she emphasizes the importance of volunteering. In Annapolis, while still struggling with learning proper English, she volunteered in the library of her children’s school. On weekends, she volunteered to take her children and their friends to the movies, hoping that would improve her English. When she paid for the tickets for a film called “Alice in Wonderland,” the usher whispered that she might not want to take the children to that film. It was a pornographic version of the children’s tale.
As the family moved again and the children grew up, she lost her dear friend and husband, Lars, and eventually moved into an apartment in Stockholm. Here she began her practice of living-and aging-exuberantly. Just because she was on a walker, that didn’t mean she couldn’t exercise. Covid kept her inside, but she (and the walker) could dance and exercise along with TV programs that showed her how.
She could keep up with old friends by phone and did so once a week. She and her childhood friend get together for a drink—gin and tonic—even though they live in different countries. A phone visit still connects these two and they each have their drinks ready to sip when the conversation begins.
She takes care of something everyday. Plants need nurturing and people need to nurture. She’d like to have a cat, but wouldn’t be able to bend down to feed it, to let it outside in her busy neighborhood, or play with it. So she has imaginary cats, who are a lot easier.
She recommends practicing the Swedish habit of doing painful things but being glad you can still do them. Paying your bills on time can be a bother, but be glad you have the money to do so.Taking care of a sick loved one can be a pain, but be glad you’re able to do it. Each and every burden has a flip side. Forgetting names is a burden, but suddenly remembering them is a joy. Cherish the burden and the joy.
Do what gives you joy: Wear stripes. Eat chocolate. Surround yourself with younger people. Don’t be that eighty-something person who declares that everything was better in the old days.
Young people don’t want to hear that. They live in these days. You should, too.
This is a short book—only 141 pages—since Magnusson says old people don’t want to read long books. Maybe so. But it’s a good, practical book that reveals the author’s sense of humor about life in the later years. Whether you live in sweet home Alabama, or Stockholm, Sweden, you get older every single day, and this book can guide you on your way.
Readers can contact Beth Thames at [email protected]
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