Dear Eric: I’ve enjoyed a successful writing career working in many different areas, but now focus on books, fiction and nonfiction. My problem is this: my wife shows zero interest in my work, though I ask for her comments. I value her opinion – I print material, requesting suggestions, but it’s ignored. Yet she remains an avid reader in areas that interest us both. I just finished an eight-book series, three years of work. She has not even glanced at them, hasn’t cracked even one of my 20 books in our more than 40 years together.

Like many writers, I’m hopelessly insecure, and seek authentication, or editing. Am I wrong to expect or hope for this feedback from someone I respect? Or does she silently despise me and my work?

– Writer’s Lament

Dear Writer: Respectfully, if you want editing, get an editor. It’s important for every writer to accept that our loved ones may not be our target audience. This can be a hard pill to swallow. After all, they love us, and we love our work. Shouldn’t they also love it? Kindly but firmly: no. They don’t have to, they may not, and that’s OK.

It’s also OK that you’re feeling insecure, but please try not to put that at your wife’s feet. It’s only going to interfere with your marriage and your work. Instead, remind yourself why you enjoy writing and seek out guidance from a writer’s group or colleague, folks who have the time and capacity to give detailed feedback.

Your wife presumably reads for enjoyment, as many people do. Being handed an eight-book series and asked to go over it with a red pen is fun for some, but clearly not for her right now. It’s rare that wedding vows include the line “I promise to love, honor, and give you notes.” So, let what’s great about your marriage flourish while you satisfy the very relatable need for approval with editors and readers who are hungry for your work.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.