Dear Eric: My wife of 50 years told me that she no longer wants to live with me. I am currently living in our summer home with no friends or social contacts/networks. She has no interest in reconciling.

We didn’t fight or argue, and I am at a loss as to what triggered her declaration. This has taken me totally by surprise. I thought we had a good marriage, with occasional ups and downs. There are no abuse, addiction or infidelity issues. I worked my whole life and am now retired. As soon as we had children, she was able to stay at home and lived comfortably raising our children and taking care of the household. The children have sided with their mom and won’t speak to me. I think she has poisoned them against me, but don’t see the gain in her doing that.

I am miserable. I am 74 with neurological mobility issues. I fear that I will fall, and no one will be around. Senior housing for me is too expensive and will deplete our planned retirement resources. We were counting on eventually selling our summer home to supplement our finances later in life. This is no longer possible as I am living in that house. This is not how I wanted the last chapters of my life to end.

I have had five sessions of therapy with no results. My therapist says I’m not at risk to myself or others and I am perpetually slightly depressed but not debilitated. Without more concrete information, he cannot help me. I am not a bad person, yet here I am.

– Totally Betrayed

Dear Betrayed: First off, I’m concerned about the therapist’s response. Even without major depression, a therapist can help you process the shock of your separation and plan your next steps. So, you should set an appointment with another therapist with those stated goals up front.

I’m not sure whether the lack of “concrete information” indicates a failing of the therapist’s or indicates that you’re holding back. Therapy can help us acknowledge the things that we refuse to admit to ourselves, but you can also start to do some of this work on your own, if there are parts of your story that you haven’t included. It’s concerning, for instance, that your children have stopped speaking to you. Without more information, I can’t say what that’s about, but it suggests that there’s something you need to unpack. It’s useful to ask yourself what that is.

It’s equally important that you find safety and stability. Talk to a divorce lawyer and a financial planner about what has happened and what needs to happen moving forward. They can help you sort out the issues with the house and retirement. Talk to your doctor about the possibility of a home health aide or a connection to a social worker. There are options out there for you.

I’m sorry that you feel blindsided by this. But accepting that this is what is happening right now and taking proactive steps will keep you safe.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.