Dear Eric: Ever since the pandemic started, a few relatives have chosen to distance themselves from the rest of my immediate family. We used to see each other every weekend like clockwork for years, and then, without any explanation, they dropped off the face of the earth. No contact attempts from them whatsoever.

Naturally, this dynamic no longer includes gifts or greeting cards. Last year, I learned that three of these now-distant relatives have been in constant connection with one another.

In the interest of rebuilding a connection, I sent each of them a simple birthday gift in the mail to let them know that they’re loved and were being thought of. Not one of them reached out to thank me for the gifts I sent them.

Just like one of your previous columns noted: I feel sometimes no answer is an answer.

This year, I just sent a quick text as birthday wishes. Yep, you guessed it: they acknowledged my texts! Message received: they prefer not to participate in gifts. But then riddle me this: They don’t acknowledge my gifts, we hardly ever speak, yet they will send me hundreds of dollars for my birthday and Christmas? What is going on here?

– To Give Or Not To Give

Dear Give: The plot twist at the end of your question really got me! Hundreds of dollars? Oh my word!

These relatives may not think they’re as distant as you think they are. Money talks, but sometimes it mumbles. Reach out to ask your relatives to translate.

Try a phone call. “We’ve been out of contact for a while. Did something happen and, if so, can we fix it?” They may think, since they’re sending stacks of cash, that all is well.

The fact that the break happened around the pandemic might be a clue here, also. It was easy for relationships to fall out of rhythm and some haven’t recovered. It was also a fraught time politically. So, maybe someone in your immediate family posted something online that the distant relatives didn’t like.

Judging by the gifts, though, they’ve clearly thought of you. Reach out and find out exactly what they’re thinking.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.