Dear Eric: I have two brothers that have recently failed to send a birthday gift or even a card to my 12-year-old daughter. My wife and I on the other hand always send birthday gifts or money and a card to their kids, our nieces and nephews.

My daughter took note of not getting a gift from them this past year in a sad kind of manner. She enjoys her aunts and uncles and cousins otherwise.

One of my brothers just sent a request for a video game birthday gift to his 9-year-old son. I am happy to give a gift to my nephew but also a bit annoyed that this is not reciprocated. Welcome your advice.

– No Gift Back

Dear No Gift Back: Send the gift but have a separate conversation with your brothers about what gifts mean to your daughter and how the lack of acknowledgment has made her, and you feel.

The niece/nephew gift exchange need not be tit for tat, but it’s important that your brothers know that you’re not feeling the kind of family connection that you want. Offer to send them reminders or gift request lists, if you want, for your daughter’s sake. This may not be an intentional slight; they may simply not be great at keeping up with birthdays.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.