Dear Eric: My 89-year-old mom is a button-wearing, T-shirt slogan, lifelong Democrat. She is also afraid of confrontation. My younger sister’s husband, who leans Republican, forwards my mother texts from Fox News and people on X making fun of Democrats. Sometimes she’s so upset she can’t sleep because what he forwards may seem funny to him, but they’re generally either cruel and/or promote misinformation.

She doesn’t think his wife or children know he does this and so she shares her distress with me (I’m in a different time zone). I’ve learned this is triangulating and advise her to find the strength to tell him directly to stop. I’ve told her not to respond to his texts (she used to try to counter with information) and that she should tell him she’s blocking him unless he stops. At what point is it close enough to bullying that I should become involved? I’m afraid of his anger as well.

– Distressed Daughter

Dear Daughter: We’re at the point of bullying already and you should intervene. It’s not about politics – I’d say the same thing if your mom was a lifelong Republican being bombarded by Kamala Harris coconut tree memes. It’s about unwanted, prolonged contact.

Your mother is temperamentally averse to confrontation and, at 89, is not a digital native so this kind of exchange is completely outside of her wheelhouse. She needs some help.

Reach out to your sister and tell her what’s going on. Does she condone this teasing? See if your sister will help your mother block your brother-in-law’s texts. They just don’t need to be in contact like this.

He may see it as innocuous, or a proportional response to your mother’s vocal politics. He needs to hear clearly that it’s not coming across that way. You write that you’re afraid of your brother-in-law’s anger. Is your mother in danger? Is your sister? You don’t have to solve everyone’s problem here, but when people are experiencing bullying or, potentially, harassment, they need a hand to help pull them out.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.