Dear Eric: To “Manners” whose husband holds the door for everyone, to her frustration, there is another way. I also hold the door for my wife and all in our party. However, once we are all through, I’ll walk through the door but keep it open behind me for a few seconds so the next group can follow along. The main point is to avoid being discourteous of the people behind us by letting the door close in their respective faces.

– Fellow Door Holder

Dear Door Holder: An elegant solution, and one I think (hope) many people employ. This allows the letter writer and her husband to stay together while entering and helps the husband to extend courtesy to others.

Dear Eric: In response to your response to “Concerned Relative,” who was distressed that a monetary gift to a nephew was used to buy guns, I was in support of everything you said but also thought that if Concerned Relative wants to help pay for summer activities without having this money go directly to something like this (guns) perhaps they could purchase memberships, tickets, tuition directly from various organizations rather than giving the money to their nephew.

– Reader

Dear Reader: Giving experiences or directly paying for things like camp is a great alternative for future gifts.

Dear Eric: In response to the concern of “Unmarried Daughter’s Pop” that his daughter and her live-in boyfriend were not combining their finances, I would suggest that she may be making a very wise choice. The boyfriend tends to spend money frivolously. She may be protecting her money from his choices.

When my husband and I married 40 years ago, he made more money than I did and made what seemed to me to be frivolous money choices. I didn’t want to have arguments about money so suggested we keep it separately. I grew to earn much more than he did. We still kept our money separate, contributing equally to joint expenses. We have never had an argument about money. He has grown less frivolous with money as he has less at his disposal.

– Wise Choice

Dear Wise Choice: Thanks for sharing your experience. As your situation illustrates, every couple has to figure out money management strategies that work for them. Not combining works for many, for all kinds of reasons.

Dear Eric: I’m so enjoying reading your column! Thank you! The letter “Unhappy Holiday” was from the mother traveling to the UK to spend holidays with her husband’s family, who is distressed that her sister-in-law has planned an event with only her husband and child, not inviting the letter writer’s family, too.

I would love to add that it’s reasonable and perhaps even wise on large, family get togethers for breakout events to occur. It may be important to the sister-in-law to have some time with her immediate family – for everything to not include the whole, big bunch of people.

I’m glad you encouraged the letter writer to seize the reindeer by the antlers and make her own plan to visit Santa with her kids. Thanks again for your column and the balanced, humane advice you give to us readers.

– Reader

Dear Reader: Thanks for writing in and your kind words. I can’t overstate how useful it can be to have a little timeout on a group vacation, particularly with family. Breaking into smaller groups, perhaps along family lines, perhaps mixing and matching, is not only more manageable logistically, but it allows for the likely possibility that not everyone has the same energy levels, interest in activities or social tendencies.

Dear Eric: I enjoyed your response to “Hobby Help” who was wondering what to do with completed craft projects. Your ideas were novel and creative.

I had an additional idea that perhaps Hobby Helper could contact nursing homes, assisted-living centers or memory care providers in the community.

I recently discovered while I was selecting giving tree items for a local assisted-living community that several residents requested decorations. I have been told that some facilities dedicated to memory care utilize seasonal decorations to assist with orientation to time of year for residents; perhaps any donated seasonal crafts would be useful for that as well.

– Another Idea

Dear Idea: Donating completed craft projects is a great idea. And I love that you mentioned contacting the nursing homes first so that the letter writer can ensure they are actually in a position to accept donations. This way the letter writer can ensure the donation is more likely to get used and bring other people joy.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.