Dear Eric: I just read the letter from “Sunny Side,” whose mother called multiple times a day with anxieties and would call Sunny Side’s friends if she didn’t pick up. My husband and I have been in a similar situation with an older relative. What I would suggest is to set up a time each day that she and her mom will talk, say every day at 7 p.m. (or whenever it’s convenient). That way Sunny Side knows when to mentally prepare herself for the call, and her mom knows when she will for sure be able to reach her.

It also takes the calls down to once per day, which is plenty. Sunny Side could make herself a cup of tea for the call or something to distract from the doom and gloom she knows is coming. Another suggestion would be to make sure her mom is engaged with some other people socially, so she doesn’t have to rely on talking to Sunny Side so much. Is there a senior center nearby with activities she could go to? Some senior organizations will send visitors to those who are homebound. I think working on this would help everyone, too – it did in our case.

– Happy Reader

Dear Happy Reader: Thank you for this suggestion. What’s great about it is it gives both the letter writer and her mom tools to help manage their expectations.

Dear Eric: After reading the letter from “Slighted Stepchild”, whose two stepparents cut him out of their wills after his parents died, I was angry on behalf of him and his brother. However, I feel there is a possibility that they may not have been disinherited by their birth parents.

I worked in the estate and trust business for almost 30 years before retiring, and saw some unbelievable things attempted by members of the deceased’s family. If the siblings have not read their parents recorded wills, or had their own attorney review them, then they should do so. They need to review only the will that was recorded in the courthouse in the area where each of their parents lived. If they can afford it, it would be best to consult an attorney to determine the legal fee to do this for them.

It would be sad, but entirely possible, that their parents’ second spouses may have withheld information from them or, under estate law of their parents’ states of residence, they may be entitled to a portion of their parents’ estates.

I know their hurt is deep, being excluded as children and adults from their parents’ love and lives, but they don’t know the influence that was put on their parents to do what they did.

– Suspicious Reader

Dear Reader: Thanks for this perspective. I hope the letter writer is able to track down some more concrete answers.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.