Dear Eric: While I agree with your response to “Concerned Parent”, whose comments kept offending their daughter, you may have forgotten that the daughter is a millennial. And millennials are universally offended by any criticism. From anyone, especially a parent. While a friend may appreciate the gentle reminder that a requirement is actually mathematics, a millennial will take that information as an insult. As the parent of a 40-year-old, I try to ask myself “did they ASK?” before I offer advice.

– Millennial Mom

Dear Mom: Universally? Not to prove my geriatric millennial bona fides, but I have to push back on this a little bit. I think there’s two aspects of this letter that deserve to be lifted up. First, generational generalizations don’t really serve anyone. Per U.S. Census Bureau data, there are more than 72 million millennials in the United States. (A millennial is defined as someone born between 1981 and 1996).

Now, it may feel like 72 million people can’t take criticism, but is that really true? I don’t think any generation – zoomers, boomers, and all the rest – wants to be defined by negative characteristics. These kinds of generalities can help inform a culture context and perhaps lead to curiosity, but they don’t really work as psychological diagnoses.

However, I love the way you end the letter. “Did they ask?” is a fantastic self-check-in for anyone, of any age, who is about to offer unsolicited advice. Sometimes, in conversation, I’ll even ask the person. “Are you asking for advice, or do you just need to be heard?”

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.