Dear Eric: In a recent column you wrote, “Sometimes, when our opinions about people change, any little thing they do can become a point of annoyance.” OK, I get it. And yes, it has happened to me. So, how do we deal with that emotional response? Is it maturity? Is it to expand our nature to tolerate?

– Feeling Guilty

Dear Feeling Guilty: Acceptance – of ourselves and others – is a good first step. Accept that you feel annoyed by a person. You have feelings and you’re allowed to feel them. And accept that they are who they are and they’re under no obligation to change to fit your mood. I find that empathy often follows. When we stop seeing other people as obstacles to our own happiness and start to see them as fellow travelers, we open the door to a deeper understanding of why they’re acting the way they act or how they see the world and we can experience empathy instead of annoyance. Does this mean that you’re going to like it? No indeedy-do. But this thought process can help put others’ behavior in context.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.