Dear Eric: My beautiful best friend/daughter passed away from breast cancer seven months ago. I was her caregiver for almost three years and am devastated by losing her.

I have tried a couple times after she passed away to start writing thank-you cards to those who sent flowers, did food drop-offs and visited. But I end up hysterical and simply put it aside for another day. I have given a few cards to her best friends and thanked others via personal messages on social media.

Is it ever considered too late to send thank-you cards acknowledging those who were there for my daughter and myself during her illness and funeral services and how much I appreciated them?

– Still in Grief

Dear Still in Grief: I’m so sorry for the loss of your daughter. You’ve been through something awful and there’s no timetable for how you navigate this period after. And that includes thank-you notes. So, short answer: it’s never too late to send them.

You also don’t have to send them at all. Grief is seismic, it’s ever evolving, and it changes the course of our lives. Often, the basic things in life – eating, paying bills – become a challenge. And those who know us, or know how all-encompassing grief can be, understand that. So, trust that your friends and loved ones aren’t sitting by the mailbox waiting for your reply to their gesture. Even if there are people in your circle who are waiting for a thank-you note, or an acknowledgement that what they did made a difference, it can come on your schedule.

The main priority is that you allow yourself the time you need to heal. Your response to the notes you’ve tried to write is telling you what you really need. It’s not the time yet. And if it’s never the time, that’s OK, too. Those who reached out weren’t looking for thanks; they wanted to provide you comfort. It’s right to find solace in that comfort now without asking more of yourself.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.