Dear Eric: I need you to smack me upside the head. I’m married with two young kids. For some reason, I’ve developed a huge crush on a guy who works at my local supermarket. This is eating me alive! I hate that I feel this way. I think about him all the time, he’s popped up in my dreams, and I find myself looking for him when I go to the market. I know that logically this is so irrational and irresponsible, but I can’t seem to shake these emotions. I want it to end. Do I stop shopping at this place until I can get my act together? How do I make these feelings go away?

– Super Crush

Dear Super: Well, I’m not going to smack you upside the head (sorry). What I will tell you, from a safe and respectful distance, is that sometimes a crush is just a crush – a way for the mind to explore an idea or blow off steam.

The best way to get it to go away is to either separate yourself from the subject of the crush or talk about it with someone who won’t judge you and can help you see what’s underneath it. (A third option is to list everything wrong with the crush, but let’s focus on the first two.)

Maybe you’re just attracted to the supermarket guy, or maybe there’s some other unmet need in your life or marriage. Acting as the thought police for yourself isn’t going to fix this. Could be nothing but worth digging a bit to see if there’s something you can glean.

It’s also fine to keep going to your regular market. When you do, remind yourself: “There’s the guy who I have a crush on. This doesn’t mean anything. He’s at work. I’m going to leave him alone. Now, which aisle is the cereal in?”

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.