Dear Eric: While our friends were away for a year, I responded to their request to mow and trim their lawn until their home was sold. It never sold and I mowed the lawn for a year.

Then they returned and moved into it again. Then it sold and they were forced to move. They purchased a lovely home with an in-ground pool.

Assuming that a year’s worth of free mowing might translate into a few invitations to use their pool, we waited for invitations which seldom came. We did not ask but did use it a couple times when invited to swim with them. (No young children were involved in this scenario.)

Was I justified in feeling that we should have been given some free passes, at least for a year?

– Lawn Pawn

Dear Lawn: Sure, a year’s worth of swimming passes would have been a lovely and fair gesture. Even a lifetime of swimming privileges – depending on the size of the lawn, a year’s worth of maintenance at a home that’s not yours is quite a big ask.

However, I think it’s always a good practice to verbalize expectations so that we don’t get misaligned. Now, they should have proactively found a way to show their gratitude without you telling them. Frankly, I think they should have paid you for your labor. But it’s possible that they didn’t even think of pool privileges as compensation for lawn care. After all, we’re talking about two different elements here – earth and water. Maybe it didn’t occur to them.

Even when doing a favor out of the goodness of our hearts, it’s fine to make requests or set expectations. If possible, it’s best to do it in advance so that friends and acquaintances don’t feel like they’re part of a bait and switch. But if a favor changes midway through, as your lawn service did, it’s also fine to renegotiate the terms. “I’m happy to keep doing this, but it’s become a bigger job than I expected. Can we discuss a way to make it fair?” Or, more specifically, “This was a big job, and I was happy to do it. Can I use your pool as a thank you?” The worst they can say is “no.”

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.