Dear Eric: After asking my adult son “John” and his girlfriend “Joy” for their permission, we invited Joy’s parents over for dinner, to meet and get to know them a little. We entertain a lot, so this invitation was easy for us.

Our kids have been happily living together for two years; they’re wonderful together and are planning to get engaged very soon. We love Joy!

Joy’s parents accepted our invitation, and everything seemed great. But suddenly John and Joy are terrified that my husband and I and her parents won’t like each other and that the evening will be awkward and awful.

Even when I reminded John that we’ve had people over for dinner regularly for many years and never had an awful dinner here, they are still terrified. John wants us to tell Joy’s parents we decided it would be better to meet “in a neutral place” like a restaurant, in case we want to cut dinner short.

How can I invite them and then uninvite them and have it not be awkward? We would never think of asking them to meet us in a restaurant and certainly wouldn’t suggest it after they accepted our invitation. If we don’t hit it off, we all still went in with open hearts and good intentions, no harm, no foul.

When the time comes, we intend to respect our kids’ decisions with their weddings, their babies, everything, but doing what they’re asking here feels like we’re insulting Joy’s parents right off the bat. What do we do?

– Rescinded Invite

Dear Invite: Your invitation seems kind and reasonable and, ultimately, doesn’t have anything to do with Joy and John’s anxieties. So, don’t change your plans. You can ask your son and his girlfriend what the root of their concern is, but you’re allowed to have anyone you want over to your home for dinner without their say.

Do they think that Joy’s parents won’t like you for some reason? Is there unspoken embarrassment on one side? Do they fear Joy’s parents will judge your home or be intimidated by it? They should say that so you can make an informed decision about how best to be a gracious host. Or they should let you four adults work it out on your own.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.