Dear Eric: In a few weeks, my sons, 22 and 20, will be coming for a visit. Both have stated that they do not wish to renew their rental lease. I love and like my boys. I would welcome them with open arms. But there has to be rules and boundaries. Is asking them to work part time instead of full time while they pursue their dreams and a small amount of rent too much?

– Lost in Colorado

Dear Colorado: It’s not too much. Moreover, you shouldn’t accept anything less.

I’m curious how we jumped from them visiting to them moving in with you, but I presume this is the result of many longer, more involved conversations. It’s wise for them to try to save money on rent by staying with family. But, as adults, they can and should also contribute to household expenses. And they should have a plan for how long they want to stay and how staying helps them achieve their financial goals. It’s fine to ask them about it. Indeed, your questions may prompt them to think through things they haven’t yet.

Also, their plans should align with yours. It will be better if you all can come up with a plan that works for everyone.

It’s also fine to ask specific questions about the nature of “pursuing their dreams.” Maybe this means getting a degree or entering an apprenticeship that doesn’t pay well. Saving money on rent makes sense but so does building skills from part-time work and good financial management.

Just as good fences make good neighbors, good boundaries make good housemates. Letting them know how they can show respect for you, your financial needs, and your shared home will help you all enjoy the time you’ll be spending together.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.