Dear Eric: My friend fell on hard times and couldn’t afford his condo after retiring and living on Social Security. We are both seniors and friends for a long time. I am financially secure; I’m also disabled and older than he is. He asked if he could live with me and in return help with things I have difficulty with. I have a live-in caregiver that lives separate from the main house on the property. For years I have enjoyed living alone and was hesitant about taking him in because of how he is. I finally relented.

He does help me, so does my caregiver and eventually I will need two people, just not now. My friend is chaotic. He disrupts my morning, there is plenty of area for us to not be on top of one another, but he needs entertainment, and I seem to be the provider for it. My mornings are spent reading the paper, followed by the most recent book I’m on. He doesn’t read books or papers. I’m interrupted a number of times with questions or his view on politics. I’ve asked, told and even yelled for him to find something to do while I enjoy the morning the way I like. He stops but within a few days the same problem occurs. Is there a solution?

– Hectic Housemate

Dear Housemate: As with any living arrangement, if it’s not working out, then it’s time for one of you (him) to find a different place to live.

You’ve asked him to respect your space and time and he either can’t or won’t. So, this isn’t a workable long-term solution. Moreover, though you said you will need his help at some point, you don’t at present, so he’s essentially living rent-free. This would be fine if he was a compatible housemate, but he’s not.

Have a “state of the friendship” conversation in which you can calmly but clearly lay out the issues as you see them and either present him with an option (i.e., entertain yourself, please, or use the money you’ve saved to move out) or present him with a decision you’ve made. You’ve been friends for a long time so I hope that he can respond in a way that shows respect for you and your space. But, if he doesn’t, some distance might be healthy for the preservation of your friendship.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.