Dear Eric: My 15-year-old granddaughter recently texted me to say “Grandma, I am a lesbian.” I was only mildly surprised because her mom had told me before that she had a “girlfriend”. I texted her back and said whatever she was, I would always love her. And I asked her how long she had known. She said “for a while now. I’ve dated boys and girls, and it just feels better to date girls.” Less than a year ago, this granddaughter bought a T-shirt that said, “I love my boyfriend.” She had dated boys from the time she was about 12. I am just wondering if she is really lesbian or afraid of being with guys?

– Confused Grandmother

Dear Grandmother: It sounds like your granddaughter is still exploring what, and who, is right for her. This is natural for teenagers, and folks of any age. The way she identifies may continue to evolve throughout her life. You’re already doing exactly the right thing: assuring her that you love her for her and will be there for her no matter what.

Even kids who are sure they’re straight have shifting relationships to dating. They might be gaga over one person one day and over another person the next day. All of us get to know new parts of ourselves through love relationships and those discoveries can be surprising, and sometimes confusing. By continuing to listen to her, to show up for her, and to reply with love, you’re letting her know that you’re a safe adult she can confide in and go to for advice on dating or anything else she has questions about. That’s the most important kind of relationship for her to cultivate right now and it will continue to benefit you both as life goes on.

Read more Asking Eric and other advice columns.

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.