Dear Eric: My friend of 40 years moved away several years ago. She is alone and I helped in many ways with her move. I went to visit, called and stayed in touch with visits, driving two hours to see her.

She called me recently to tell me all the things she does not like about me, some pretty cruel stuff, and I was crushed.

I told her, I hear you, and that I was going to keep my distance and let her go. To my surprise she walked away, didn’t go back in with me, and accepted the break-up.

I thought of trying to work it out, yet I feel so hurt and truly do not want to be friends with someone who would treat me this way.

She never seemed happy for me and is one of those people who is ravaged with anger. I am not this way. Maybe we grew apart. Any parting thoughts?

– An Old Friend

Dear Friend: Though this friend treated you unfairly and was unnecessarily cruel, she did do one good thing: she removed herself from your life. Forty years is a long time to be friends with someone, so I understand the grief that you’re feeling. But 40 years is also a long time to put up with someone not being happy for you. I wonder how many slights or smaller cruelties you had to deal with over the years.

Try to allow yourself the space and time to mourn this loss, while also reminding yourself that you deserve to be supported in the way that you support friends. Your former friend’s lashing out was more a reflection of the way she sees the world than of your place in it.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.