Dear Eric: My husband and I have been married for 30 years. About seven years ago he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and three years ago I placed him in a nursing home. Over that time, I’ve continued sending cards and money for important events to his children but rarely hear from them.

My biological kids and their children always say thank you. Now it has become a financial burden for me to continue all gifts. Should I tell them or just stop? I haven’t heard from the steps for months but not sure what would be best. I am continuing with the biological children, is that unfair?

– Gift Dilemma

Dear Gift: It’s not unfair. Gifts aren’t owed; they’re expressions of love and extensions of relationships. Tell the steps about your plan.

Talking to them about your financial situation and your unmet hopes around gift-giving could also give you an opportunity to talk to them about how they’re showing up for their father and any support that you need in his care.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.