Dear Eric: Last year, my family had three losses close together. We lost my brother and sister and an aunt, all in a three-month span. All of them have a birthday in February. Do you have any suggestions on how to get through the month without being overwhelmed with sadness?

– Feeling Blue

Dear Blue: Start by taking each day as it comes. As this is the first February without those loved ones, you’re going to feel a range of emotions. Try to be gentle with yourself, acknowledging “this is the way I’m feeling today/right now.” Some days you might feel the need to share how you’re feeling with someone else; other days you might just want to care for yourself. There’s no wrong way to do it. But holding the knowledge that what you’re feeling isn’t forever and it doesn’t all have to be dealt with right now will help to keep it from overwhelming you.

Think about ways that you can commemorate the birthdays, ways that are meaningful and healing to you. That may mean doing something that reminds you of your brother, sister or aunt. That may also mean gathering with others to share memories. It could also look like taking a walk in nature alone or with another person and being present with yourself and your emotions. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to make it special or to commemorate the right way. It will be enough, no matter what.

And if a birthday goes by and you think of another way to commemorate it, it’s not too late. There’s no time limit on any of this.

I’m so sorry that you’re experiencing the pain of these losses. I know it’s hard. Grief is a process with no schedule, but it will change and your relationship to it will change every day. Please seek out support from those you love, from a counselor, and/or from a grief support group, as well. Talk about where you are in the moment with those who can hold those feelings without rushing you. Care for yourself as well in all this, so that this month is not just about a feeling of loss, but also about the lives you got to share in, lives that continue to enrich your own.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.