Dear Eric: After some years of being out of touch, I reconnected with a once-close cousin. When she recently visited my area, I met up with her and her granddaughter, “Mia”.

My cousin told me of the financial hardships this sweet teenager deals with. My friend is financing most of the extracurricular activities and clothes for Mia.

About a month later, I received a text message from Mia, asking if I could please buy a pair of sneakers for her upcoming soccer camp. Surprised, I contacted my cousin about her request. My cousin “reminded me” I had offered to help Mia. Well, I didn’t mean financially!

But because she really is a sweet kid, I offered to help get the sneakers. Unfortunately, Mia wanted outrageously overpriced sneakers I wouldn’t buy for my own granddaughter. When I relayed that to my cousin, she said, “Well, Mia is very picky and wants what she wants.”

Not too happy with that response, I asked Mia to choose a pair within a specific price range. She apologized and sent other options within that range. After she received them, Mia sent numerous thank-you texts, then invited me to join her and my cousin “down the shore” on a 10-day vacation they had planned. I didn’t respond, since the invite didn’t come from my cousin.

I am angry and feel I was backed into a corner by my cousin having Mia ask for help and I haven’t heard from her at all. Should I let my cousin know how I feel or simply cut ties completely?

– Feeling Used

Dear Feeling Used: Though your cousin put Mia in an awkward, even inappropriate, position, the teen did a good job responding to your boundaries, expressing gratitude for your generosity, and taking a step to continue to build a relationship that’s not transactional.

Indeed, this teen did everything your cousin should have done. Now, the cousin may be coaching her through this, but the first step should have been your cousin reaching out to clarify the parameters of the help you offered. Not doing so put you and Mia in a tight spot.

Let your cousin know how you feel. There’s no use stewing in silence. And consider replying to Mia’s text, even if it’s a “thanks but no thanks.” You two have been good about communication thus far, despite your cousin dropping the ball.

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Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.