Dear Amy: A couple of years ago my wife had an emotional affair with a guy named “Jerry” who played tabletop RPGs (role playing games) with us at a local comic shop. We separated for a couple months over her involvement with Jerry (as well as some other issues), but we worked things out and reconciled. Jerry is now married and has a child.

Now, the game has moved to our house every other Friday.

I run a game at the shop for one group, and she runs the other game at our house at the same time for her group.

I thought I was rid of Jerry, but my wife just told me he’d like to rejoin the group.

She knows I can’t stand this guy, or what happened, but she seems excited that he’s rejoining.

I know if I tell her I don’t want him in the house it’s going to start a huge argument.

Any advice?

– Played

Dear Played: This relationship has already been the catalyst for a separation between you and your wife. Regardless of “Jerry’s” current marital status, your wife should respect the acknowledged risk to her own marriage and decline to spend time with him regularly.

You might find over time that the trust between you and your wife has been completely restored and the risk of this outside relationship has faded. That would be the time to allow Jerry back into your gaming circle, and for you to consider ways to tolerate his presence.

You might call an audible here and suggest that Jerry is welcome to rejoin the Friday gaming group, but that he should attend the one that you run at the store, versus the one your wife hosts at home.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.