Dear Amy: I’m a 29-year-old man. My wife and I have been together for six years. We got married three years ago with a wonderful wedding that included all of our family and friends.

Our wedding is just about the last truly happy memory I have from our relationship.

My wife and I do not get along, and I can’t really figure out why. We both like our jobs and we have a nice apartment. We share expenses and household chores.

I feel like she is just always unhappy. I can’t seem to please her. Sometimes I dread coming home from work, because I’m never sure about what will greet me. I’ve started fantasizing about leaving the marriage, and that makes me feel absolutely terrible.

I’m reaching out for some guidance. I need a fresh perspective about what I should do.

– Worried and Wondering

Dear Worried: You don’t mention having any conversations about whether to have children, but my first suggestion is that you should not have kids until you arrive at some resolution about your relationship.

You two should pursue professional counseling immediately.

You should broach this by sitting down with your wife and laying it all on the line. Use “I statements” and stick to describing your own feelings: “I walk on eggshells at home. I feel sad and lonely. I’m worried about our future.”

Please, take a deep breath, stay calm, and do your best to create a lot of space for your wife to respond to you. You are seeking insight, not another fight.

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“Ask Amy” is coming to an end on June 30, 2024, after 21 years. You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.