Dear Amy: I am working with some of my high school classmates on our upcoming 50th reunion.

We want to honor our classmates who have passed with a picture and obituary, and I have been helping to find those documents.

One of our classmates died by suicide a few years after graduation, I believe as a result of postpartum depression. I was saddened to hear about this. Although I did not know her personally, she was a person I admired throughout high school.

I located her obituary, and found that she left behind two young children. I searched to see if they still lived in the community, and I found her daughter on Facebook.

I wondered if my classmate’s daughter would be interested in meeting some of her mother’s friends at our class reunion next year.

If she is interested, it could be a healing moment to learn about her mother and hear how loved she was. At the same time, her daughter might have strong feelings of sadness or anger about her mother’s death.

Should I contact her to invite her to our reunion? I’m happy to drop the idea if she is reluctant in any way. I’m wondering if my idea is compassionate – or creepy.

Your opinion, please?

– J

Dear J: There is nothing creepy about including surviving family members in your reunion celebration. You seem to believe that there might be more grief or anger regarding a classmate who died by suicide, but I submit that any premature death is a deeply felt loss, and you should shed any supposition of shame or embarrassment for these survivors.

If it is at all possible, I think it would be a great idea to invite any local family members of classmates who have died (including elder surviving parents).

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.