Dear Amy: Grrrrr. My long-time fiancé and I announced and started planning our wedding last spring. The ceremony is scheduled for this spring.

My fiance’s sister is my “Matron of Honor.” She and I are great friends and are very close.

She learned that she is pregnant and is expecting her first child. As nature would have it … her due date is two weeks after our wedding date.

She is concerned that she might go into labor just before – or even during – the wedding. This being her first pregnancy, I can imagine that she is really concerned about this. Her pregnancy is going great, but she lives about three hours away and is concerned about her obstetric care, should she have a problem while she is out of town.

She came to me and asked if we would be willing to change our wedding date. She said she is very excited about being there for us when we get married, and she doesn’t want to miss it.

Honestly, we don’t want to do this. We are deep into the planning and have a venue booked, deposits paid, and things basically lined up. We are about to send out our Save The Date notices.

I don’t want to be selfish here. She and I are close and will be actual family members very soon. But other family members are weighing in, and are divided about what we should do.

How should we respond?

– Flustered

Dear Flustered: You and your intended should respond quickly, calmly, and with an air of optimistic finesse: “We’re so excited to become an aunt and uncle!

We’ve talked about changing our wedding date and we understand your concerns but we’re going to go ahead with our plans. We want you to know that we expect you to make all of your decisions based on your own needs and what is best for you and the baby.”

Make sure she understands that her role as an attendant is “ceremonial,” and that she only needs to engage in the process as much as she wants to. And if at the last minute she feels that she can’t make the trip to stand up with you on your wedding day, you will completely understand.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.