Dear Amy: My ex-wife and I divorced five years ago. I have primary custody of my three daughters, ages 6 to 12 (their mom sees them every other weekend).

Three years ago, I met the wonderful “Elise.”

Elise and I got married last year and she moved into our home. She didn’t bring children into the marriage and is thrilled to be part of our family.

All of the girls seem to be doing well, aside from occasional emotional storms based on their age and stage. The youngest daughter is most attached to her new stepmother, but the others are getting there.

My issue is that Elise wants the kids to call her “Mom.”

She has not asked them to do this (they call her by her first name), but she has made it clear to me that she is disappointed that they don’t.

I’m not sure what to tell her.

– Confused Father

Dear Confused: You should tell your wife exactly what your children would tell her: they already have someone in their life they call “Mom.”

The stepmother’s journey is extremely challenging, possibly more challenging for an eager and inexperienced new parent.

Your wife is one of your kids’ parents, but she is not their mom, and as time goes on she will carve out her own special relationship with these daughters. The relationship absolutely must start from a place of trust, respect, and friendship.

And so it should be “Elise” for now, and over time, as your household group becomes more intimate, the kids and Elise may come up with another name that suits everyone.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.