Dear Amy: I am a financially responsible and secure 24-year-old woman.

A few months ago I discovered that I am pregnant. The father of my baby is my long-time boyfriend “Tony,” who I have been with exclusively for a couple of years.

Well, Tony is now my ex-boyfriend, I guess. He became very upset when he learned about this unplanned pregnancy (I was upset, too), and told me he would not have anything to do with the baby, and said that he would demand a paternity test.

My dilemma now has to do with his parents. They are nice people and I’ve known them for a couple of years. Tony has said that he won’t tell his folks about the pregnancy until after the birth and paternity is established.

There is no question that he is the father of this child, and I believe his folks should be told about the pregnancy. I don’t want anything at all from them, but I assume they would want to know about the prospect of their first grandchild coming into the world.

My folks know and are very supportive and happy.

I’m wondering what you think I should do.

– Unsure

Dear Unsure: I think you should let them know about your pregnancy.

Their son might be panicking – he is definitely being a prize jerk about the prospect of becoming a father.

He has the right to have the baby’s paternity verified, but given that he has at this point walked away from parenthood, you have sole responsibility for this unborn child, which means that your judgment regarding disclosure should prevail.

People do sometimes work their way back to accepting and enjoying their parenting relationship once the dust settles, and an honest, healthy and positive relationship with your child’s grandparents might help “Tony” to accept his child.

It is vital that you receive accurate legal advice regarding your mutual rights and responsibilities as parents before the child is born.

Singlemothersgrants.org offers a comprehensive state-by-state guide to financial and legal assistance available to moms without partners.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.