Dear Amy: My stepfather drinks loads of his favorite brand of bourbon. Countless family holidays have ended in tears after he tied one on and got nasty.

Christmas is now celebrated at my house, and my mother and stepfather spend the night at our house.

For years he has brought a half gallon of his favorite stuff, but lately he has taken to giving me lectures about how a good hostess (unlike me) would have his booze on hand so he wouldn’t have to bring any.

I do have spirits and wine, but I don’t drink this bourbon, and neither does anyone else I know.

The main reason I don’t stock his bourbon, however, is principle: Why should I buy a drink that will serve as fuel for his meanness?

I know I am not changing his behavior by refusing to buy his booze – he will bring his own – and a part of me thinks I should just give in and buy a bottle. Money is not the issue. Thoughts?

– Having a Passive-Aggressive Holiday!

Dear Passive-Aggressive: I’m with you. You are under no obligation to provide the specific fuel for your stepfather’s drunken howls.

This truly is a case where he is welcome to “pick his own poison.” Furthermore, a guest enjoying the extreme largess of an overnight stay doesn’t really have the right to lecture the host on etiquette.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.