Dear Amy: I picked up my husband’s phone and found a private message to a woman he works with.

It started out “Hey, Beautiful.”

I looked up her profile on Facebook and under pictures she has posted of herself he was saying things like “absolutely gorgeous” and “beautiful.”

He had surgery and we both posted about the surgery on FB, but she messaged privately to ask him how it went.

I say she could have read it like everyone else and apparently she did because she left a heart emoji on his post.

He says this is all perfectly innocent and there is nothing wrong with it.

I say there is a lot wrong with it.

What do you say?

– Disgruntled Wife

Dear Disgruntled: I wonder how your husband would react if you were engaged in an analogous private communication with another man whom your husband had never met: “Hey, gorgeous!” “Hey, handsome!” “Hubba hubba…”

What matters most is not whether it is “wrong,” “innocent,” or somewhere in between, but how this makes you feel.

I suggest that you should discuss this, not by labeling the behavior, but by describing your feelings.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.