Dear Amy: I’ve been in a bad place, and I’m a little surprised at the reason: I am grieving over the death of Matthew Perry.

I couldn’t identify why I was feeling so low, until I finally realized that what I was feeling was grief.

How can you grieve someone that you never knew personally?

I think maybe it has to do with what I felt this person gave to me.

I just wish I could say, “Thank you for all the laughs!”

What is your perspective on this type of thing?

I’d love to know what you think.

– Hurting in California

Dear Hurting: As of this writing, the death of this beloved actor is still very new, and I can well understand why you (and many others) feel very real grief over this loss.

Actors, musicians, writers, and other cultural figures can make an indelible mark on our own real and lived experience. And when the loss involves an actor who created a memorable character who came into our living rooms over such a long period of time, you feel as if you have lost a very real “Friend.”

Additionally, Matthew Perry’s decades-long and very public struggle with addiction use disorder adds a sad and tragic poignancy to the end of his life, which came way too soon.

Reading accounts of the extreme physical consequences of his alcohol and drug addiction, as well as his many painful, heartbreaking, and public relapses, one realizes that fame, fortune, and the very best Friends were ultimately no match for this disease.

I read a quote from Matthew Perry, where he said that he knew he would be remembered for “Friends,” but that he wished he would be remembered for his role in helping other addicts on the road to sobriety. Many people currently in recovery have spoken publicly about his vital role in personally helping them, including his choice to turn his former home into a sober living facility called the Perry House.

He said, “I would like to be remembered as somebody who lived well, loved well, [and] was a seeker.”

His death is a legitimate loss to mourn, but also a legacy to celebrate.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.