Dear Amy: My daughter and granddaughter are coming to spend 10 days with us over the Christmas holidays.

I am dreading the visit because my 3-year-old granddaughter is unable to be around others without being the center of attention!

If adults try to have a conversation she interrupts continuously, and if she has nothing to actually say, she just makes loud noises.

It is beyond irritating.

I try not to interfere with my daughter’s parenting, but I’m not sure how to survive 10 days of this, when even brief phone calls with the two of them make me crazy.

Any advice?

– Sad Grandma

Dear Sad: It is extremely common for 3-year-old children to want to dominate their primary parent’s attention.

Children learn not to do this through a combination of repeated reminders and distractions: “The adults are speaking to each other. You are interrupting. If you have something to say, you need to wait your turn.”

You can also ask a 3-year-old to do a “job” for you, folding dish cloths or towels on the floor, sorting wooden spoons into different boxes, stacking blocks, or putting their favorite toy “to bed” in a shoebox.

Ten days is a long visit; the holidays are highly charged and exhausting for children and their parents, and you should count on having your daughter’s full attention only during your granddaughter’s afternoon nap time and after she is asleep at night.

You would not dread this visit so much if you reframed your orientation: This will not be a mother-daughter visit between you and your daughter, but a Christmastime visit with your granddaughter.

I hope you will find ways to bond with this little girl that will make this visit memorable for both of you.

Gentle corrections, reminders, and activities will help the child.

Relaxing your expectations will help you.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.