Dear Amy: My husband and I have wonderful friends: a husband and wife, and their 20-year-old daughter.

They live on a gorgeous island, and several times each year, we vacation together in each other’s homes. These visits usually last 7 to 10 days, and during this time, we shop, talk, and eat meals together. We always have a lovely time.

The problem is, I often feel the need each day to withdraw and recharge my batteries. After a full day of being social, I crave some privacy. I don’t mind my husband’s company, but I find that too much of a good thing is, well, too much.

When the visits occur in my home, it’s not too bad for me. I can retire to my room, or read a book, and I usually can have time on my own.

When we visit them, however, I feel as though they are trying too hard to dazzle me. They schedule a variety of activities, and I frequently feel obligated to participate.

I have told our friends that, going forward, I really would not mind taking a room in a hotel, or renting a private home during our visits, and sleeping there instead. I did make it seem as though I was suggesting doing so for their convenience, as I could not find the words to express my issue without sounding rude. I do love these people dearly, but I no longer want to endure feeling drained when I know it is not necessary.

Please help.

– Seeking Friendly Solitude

Dear Seeking Solitude: I have a theory that the experience of the lengthy pandemic awakened in many the need – or desire – for more solitude.

These frequent visits with your friends are lengthy and sound like a lot of fun, but I do think it’s not only acceptable but advisable for you to be honest about your own needs. (Wouldn’t you accept this from your own guests? Of course you would!)

If your need to recharge would best be served by staying nearby and planning outings and meals with your hosts, then – you should do that. But be honest about your reasons.

Some people have a daily yoga practice. Others meditate at the same time each day. You should tell your hosts, “I have an inescapable need to be alone for some time each afternoon in order to recharge my batteries. I hope it’s OK with you if I schedule my alone-time for late afternoons. I don’t want to interrupt the flow, but I’ll just quietly slip away, and I want to make sure you understand my reasons.”

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.