Dear Amy: I care for my 15-month-old granddaughter on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays from 8 a.m. until noon. I am not compensated and am very happy to do this. Both parents work – mainly from home.

What’s become an issue is my son and daughter-in-law’s insistence that I not allow my granddaughter to nap during my morning shifts. Instead, they prefer that nap time be reserved for the afternoons so they can focus on their jobs.

The little girl has a tendency to fall asleep for a brief 20 to 30 minutes mid-morning. This takes the edge off her afternoon nap which can be as long as two to three hours if she doesn’t nap in the morning.

I see sleep deprivation as a form of child abuse and my son and daughter-in-law’s demands to be somewhat selfish. If I call them out on this, I fear there will be retribution in the form of reduced contact with my granddaughter over something that is a minor inconvenience for the young parents.

What do you think I should do?

– Concerned Grandparent

Dear Concerned: You raised your son. You are now helping to raise his child.

Babies this age normally take two naps a day. Having a rested baby is better than an exhausted and fussy baby, and rested babies tend to sleep better than exhausted babies.

These parents need to trust your judgment. I suggest that you carry on, letting the child sleep when she needs to, and if the parents confront you about it, you should tell them that you believe it is better for their baby if she is allowed to follow her body’s need to nap briefly in the morning.

If they have a problem letting you follow this commonsense and compassionate practice and want to “fire” you over it, let them find and compensate another caregiver, who might be less personally invested in the baby’s well-being.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.