Ask Amy: Exploring boundaries in an introvert-extrovert friendship
Dear Amy: I’m a man in my mid-30′s. I have a younger female friend, “Emma,” who is an introvert.
There’s no romantic interest between us – just a great friendship.
The problem is that I’m more of an extrovert than she is.
Recently, we’ve hit a rough patch. She believes that I text her too much. I’m not trying to annoy her. I just want to talk to her.
I want to keep her in my life because she is a great friend.
I don’t want to overwhelm her, but I don’t want to feel like I’m forgotten.
My question for you is how do you think I can compromise?
I’d appreciate your advice about what to do.
– Good Friend
Dear Good Friend: You state that you don’t want to feel like you’re forgotten, but if your friendship is solid, secure, and balanced, you wouldn’t have this fear.
You should ask “Emma” what she believes a good compromise would be, and then you should respect her boundary.
You two might do best by scheduling a regular call, FaceTime, or text exchange. If you both could anticipate this regular contact; she might not feel crowded, and you would be reassured that your friendship is valued and viable.
You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.