Dear Amy: I am a stay-at-home mom to a 9-year-old daughter. She’s, well, she’s great. She is mainly well-behaved and as an only child I try hard to give her lots of experiences with other kids.

We have a cool “attic” room in our house that has low-sloping ceilings. We’ve set it up as something of a play space and we also store suitcases and extra bedding there.

Last week, we invited “Sophie” to come on a Saturday for a playdate. I set up the play room with some craft supplies and snacks. The two girls were there for most of the afternoon and seemed to have a great time.

After taking Sophie home I went into the room and it was a shambles. The suitcases were opened, bedding and food were strewn everywhere. I was completely shocked. This is absolutely not the way our daughter would ever treat our home.

Now I don’t know whether I should call Sophie’s mother to let her know how destructive her daughter was, or whether I would ever welcome this child into our home again.

Your advice?

– Frustrated Mom

Dear Frustrated: Never, ever, leave two 9-year-olds alone for several hours in a room full of temptations, because they will imagine and conspire and create their own world full of strewn bedding, snacks, and overall mayhem.

One child does not play this way. Two children do. They trade ideas, come up with storylines about being orphans on a camping trip, and things have a way of going sideways.

My first piece of advice is to leave the snacks out of the playroom. This way, every now and then you will pop your head in and invite them into the kitchen to take a break from their play. This will allow you to see what they’re up to and either marvel at their creations or course-correct them.

“Sophie” might have inspired this destruction, but this could very well have originated with your child, who decided to push her well-behaved boundaries (perhaps showing off).

Your daughter should do the clean-up, which is part of the responsibility of hosting.

You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.